it's strange how isolated and alone you feel when you finally come to a clear decision to act upon. It's the realization that you're solely responsible for what you do next, and that the only one who can really help you is yourself. support is just what it is: support. no one can bear it like you; only help to lessen the weight.

ironic, how i'm feeling. i'm attempted to mature, to be clear, to act firmly. and i'm utterly isolated. anxious and wanting to run away, but fighting the urge to run to safety and hide-- being protected and sheltered and spoiled. the compromise is to try and confide in someone, but there is no completely honest, true, or open person to turn to. mostly my own fault, and so, mainly my own trial. everyone has their opinion or side to the story. so i feel helpless. and hopeless.

...but then again. i'm probably just really messed up now. so i'm sorry if i look broken: it's because i really am.

the sun sets on me and there's only one place left that i'd rather be...